revise

Blog post due -- what do you need to revise on your drafts to show more clarity, conviction, commitment, emotion, and overall strengthen your performance. Be specific on what you need to revise and why. 300 words. 

I think the most important points that we should revise is the connection between two characters because in our originally scrips. There is only one scene to show our connection, which does not really indicates the relationship of two stories. So I think we should add more scene about the relationship between two characters and details about their connections. For example, we could make them have some connection. They have been friends for long time and they write letter to each other about their life. In the letter, we could use some monologue to indicate their life condition. Also, for night woman. The facts about her son has already dead should be more appeartly to the audience. Because it’s kinds of confused for the audience to recognize the point without any words. So we should add some more appeartly points that could make sense to the audiece. 

Moreover, after I watched our first draft. I think I did not really show my emotion well especially our monologue part. And we supposed to add some background music st there to show my depressed and hopeless. And I should have more movements on the stage to slow down my monologue. It helps the audience to feel my emotion in these way. I can also add more actions such as body movements to express my emotion. And I think I could act more dramatic instead of just sitting there.