Revise WC

For start, the most important aspects I should work on is the analysis part because I didn’t have a strong thesis statement and explanations for quoted material. For the background and context information, i should more focus on Laura instead of Amanda and Tom. So I could talk all of her change through the whole book and also her personality. So I should strength the points that she is different from others and specifically mention about her glass menagerie, which shows how she differs from others. The background information should talk about more through the whole book instead of just focusing on the scene. For example, i could talk more about the relationship between Laura and Amanda. Talking about the gentleman callers is also helping to build the whole foundation of the story becasue gentleman callers is directly connecting with Laura, however, she doesn’t really care.  Also, for the thesis statement, I should concentrate on one points instead of separating them into different points. I could set up one specific statement to show that Laura’s situation in this family. In order to strength my analysis, i should more focus on using my quotes. When i went through my draft, i found there’s less quotation explanation. So i should give more explanation about my quotes, which should support my thesis.

Secondly, i had a lot of details about my performance, which is a good point for me to maintain. However, at the same time, i should also think about the analysis of my performance, which means how the movements and the detail affects the audience and the whole scene. I should more think about the function of each of my details and show the connections of my performance and the thesis statement and the scene.

Also, in my conclusion part, i did not really give a overview of whole scene. Instead, i give a unclear anaysis about the performance again. So i think it’s better to go through the whole scene with my performance and give a overview conclusion, which points out my thesis statement and the scene. Also, for each of the paragraph, it seems like that i didn’t give a good conclusion scentences, which i should really work on becasue the conclusion sentences help the readers to understand the entire theme of the paragrah. There are also many grammar mistakes in my eassy, which requires me to go through my entire eassy. At last, i got 0 for my three aspects. I should give a title for my eassy. And at the same time, i need to fix all of my citation for the quotations. And the whole cite for the book. It’s easier to fix these points, so i shouldn’t lose my points on that aspects.