performance for fences

I have never read this book before since I have never knew this is our summer. As a result, when the first time  I chose my monologue randomly. The truth tells me it is a hard part for me to performance because i should performance with not only sadness but also mad.  At the first time, I totally messed up. For the reason, I can not bring myself into the role. I can not be sad and mad as she does. i began laugh every half of the performance. 

However, i began to imagine her emotion and her feelings even her love to her husband. Later, i understood this is a woman who was so disappoint to her husband and felt despair to her husband. There must be a layer of emotion. As a result, I performance an emotion which was changed from mad to sad. For the reason, according to this part " it is your papa or mama or my papa or my mama. "  I though it is more sad of her to think about her own family and own life. I displayed the emotion through highlight some significant words through loud voice which represents angry. In addition to that, i could not find any action to performance angry or sad except some small body language. I practiced a lot and tried to remember the lines. 

Later, once when i practiced with Jasemine. I heard her role's conversation with my role. In order to learn more about my role and explore more personality and bring it into my performance. i  read the part of conversation between my role and my her husband. I realized there was something wrong with my layer of emotion. Since the beginning part is sad and at the end of the conversation. She becomes angry about her husband and her whole life, even her family. The emotion is changed from sadness to angry. I began to use low voice with sound which hears like crying to say " i have done everything a wife should do". At the end of the performance, I got so angry through my loud voice to access all crimes in her life. I still do not have so many emotions. However, I used an action which uses my hand cover my face to show that i am really sad. 

After the monologue performance, I learnt if we want to performance a role very well, we should know her very well. we should put more efforts on her personality and the environment of the monologue.  Try to imagine the situation and think about the role's performance. The last point is having emotion. imagining that we are the person who we performance. i think this is the most important ability for acting-----thinking about emotion. Sometimes we can performance only when we experience by ourselves. Or we can think about some angry or sad things to us to create the emotion in performance. 

i think i can do better for my first monologue about our personal experience since i learnt a lot these days. I think our personal experience is more connected with life. We are talking about an experience, not an emotion. So when there is any part showing my emotion, i should highlight it to performance. Not only telling others a story and read it i front of others. We should have body language or actions to show that we are acting! To make others realize this experience is one part of our life. Not a fake story form others.